This week’s parsha begins with Avram being told to leave his father’s house. With the story of the tower of Babel fresh in my mind, I began reading Lech-Lecha thinking Avram’s journey would be a heroic continuation of the theme of scattering that came from the end of last week’s parsha. However, contextualizing Avram’s journey in this way did not work out as I had planned.
One recurring scene that can be found throughout Lech-Lecha is that of God reassuring Avram that his journey will ultimately be rewarded with offspring and land. My initial reaction to the frequency of God's reassurance was the following: Avram has just disconnected himself from the aspects of his life that rooted him in the past. By leaving his home, he has made himself extremely vulnerable and to counter this vulnerability, God provided him with multiple visions of the future rootedness He had in store for him, both in the form of land and children for generations and generations.
Maybe this is why we see God promising Avram that he will be rewarded so often, simply because Avram was unstable and thus needed to be reassured with the promise of future stability.
Toward the end of the parsha, something perplexing happens, adding another layer to this idea.
In chapter 15, verse 12, the text says:
ויהי השמש לבוא ותרדמה נפלה על אברם והנה אימה חשכה גדלה נפלת עליו
And it came to pass, that, when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, a dread, even a great darkness, fell upon him.
What was this great darkness? The text seems to leave that answer ambiguous. However, the following verse may offer some insight.
| 13 And He said unto Abram: 'Know of a surety that thy seed shall be a stranger in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years; | ויאמר לאברם ידע תדע כי גר יהיה זרעךָ בארץ לא להם ועבדוּם, וענוּ אתם ארבע מאות שנה |
After being reassured numerous times that a nation of people as numerous as the stars of the sky will come from him, and they will be given the land of Canaan, Avram is told they will first be strangers in a land not their own, and furthermore, they are going to be oppressed there for a very long time.
I imagine that would be a very difficult piece of news to receive and certainly capable of sending someone to a dark place. Maybe, in addition to offering Avram some sense of stability, God needed to firmly plant the vision of a flourishing and rooted nation in Avram's head before breaking this harsh news to him. After all, he was already starting out in a pretty vulnerable place. And without strengthening Avram first, this news could have broken him.
Before going through Lech-Lecha this week, I remembered this parsha simply as testament to Avraham’s strength and faith in God. However, after my most recent read through, the Avraham I see here is not the Avraham I usually envision. Lech-Lecha's Avraham (Avram) was fragile. He was caught in the thick of an extremely intimidating and challenging test and thus, needed a significant amount of support from God.
This assessment is not meant to challenge Avram’s strength or faith in God. Rather, it complicates the simple picture that many of us grew up with. In grade school, I remember hearing about Avraham and the tests God gave him. I remember hearing that he left his home, almost sacrificed his son because of his profound faith in God and as a result, passed with flying colors. But I do not remember focusing on his journey in between. I do not remember thinking about the emotional and spiritual toll these tests must have taken on him. As a result, I think I missed a vital lesson present in Avraham’s story...
We constantly find ourselves in new positions, sometimes comfortable and empowering, and other times, uncomfortable and vulnerable. After making the life changing decision to leave his father's house, Avram was in an extremely vulnerable place. Arriving at that place and being helped out of it was necessary for his journey, and in my eyes, made the faith Avraham was ultimately able to develop all the more admirable.
Like Avraham, may all of us have the awareness and the support to turn our most burdensome vulnerabilities into a our greatest strengths.
Shabbat Shalom :)
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