BY: RIVKY STERN
The last parsha read before Rosh Hashanah is Vayelech, and, appropriately for the Day of Judgement, a fair portion of the parsha focuses on am yisrael sinning and subsequently performing teshuva, repentance.
The Torah tells us in Yayelech 31:16-18:
טז וַיֹּאמֶר יְהוָה אֶל-מֹשֶׁה, הִנְּךָ שֹׁכֵב עִם-אֲבֹתֶיךָ; וְקָם הָעָם הַזֶּה וְזָנָה אַחֲרֵי אֱלֹהֵי נֵכַר-הָאָרֶץ, אֲשֶׁר הוּא בָא-שָׁמָּה בְּקִרְבּוֹ, וַעֲזָבַנִי, וְהֵפֵר אֶת-בְּרִיתִי אֲשֶׁר כָּרַתִּי אִתּוֹ. יז וְחָרָה אַפִּי בוֹ בַיּוֹם-הַהוּא וַעֲזַבְתִּים וְהִסְתַּרְתִּי פָנַי מֵהֶם, וְהָיָה לֶאֱכֹל, וּמְצָאֻהוּ רָעוֹת רַבּוֹת, וְצָרוֹת; וְאָמַר, בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא, הֲלֹא עַל כִּי-אֵין אֱלֹהַי בְּקִרְבִּי, מְצָאוּנִי הָרָעוֹת הָאֵלֶּה. יח וְאָנֹכִי, הַסְתֵּר אַסְתִּיר פָּנַי בַּיּוֹם הַהוּא, עַל כָּל-הָרָעָה, אֲשֶׁר עָשָׂה: כִּי פָנָה, אֶל-אֱלֹהִים אֲחֵרִים.
16 And the LORD said unto Moses: 'Behold, thou art about to sleep with thy fathers; and this people will rise up, and go astray after the foreign gods of the land, whither they go to be among them, and will forsake Me, and break My covenant which I have made with them. 17 Then My anger shall be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them, and I will hide My face from them, and they shall be devoured, and many evils and troubles shall come upon them; so that they will say in that day: Are not these evils come upon us because our God is not among us? 18 And I will surely hide My face in that day for all the evil which they shall have wrought, in that they are turned unto other gods.
The Torah describes here a terrifying and troubling image. After am yisrael sins and is subsequently punished, even once the people realize that G-d is punishing them for their actions and acknowledge Him as Master of the world, G-d nevertheless continues to hide His face from them. The commentators raise the obvious question: why, after am yisrael does teshuva, doesn't G-d forgive them and take the horrors away? Why does He continue to be so angry with His nation?
The Yad Yosef (a collection of sermons written in the early 1600s published by R' Yosef Tzarfati, a descendant of Rashi), has a similar question when discussing the nature of Paro's punishment in the plagues of Egypt. We know that Paro does teshuva- proclaiming in Shmot 9:27, “the LORD is righteous, and I and my people are wicked.” But over and over again, his teshuva is proven to be insincere when the punishment of the plague ends. The lesson we take away here is that if one does teshuva only when facing dire punishment, but then returns to his wicked ways when the affliction ends, then the teshuva meant nothing to begin with.
Returning to our parsha, it appears that when the Torah says, “so that they will say in that day: Are not these evils come upon us because our God is not among us?” it implies that although am yisrael recognizes that their suffering is coming as punishment for abandoning G-d, their repentance is not fully sincere and will only last as long as their pain. The message sent is clear: one's teshuva cannot be dependent on his or her reality, but can only come with the legitimate change of heart that sincere teshuva brings.
In the first halacha of the first perek of Rambam's Hilchot Teshuva, Rambam brings this message to halachic reality. As part of the teshuva process, Rambam writes, we are required to make a verbal confession of our sins, and we must not only state them explicitly, but unequivocally denounce our actions and state that we will never do our action again. In the second chapter, Rambam expands on this, claiming that true repentance can only be completed when an opportunity to commit the original transgression arises once more, but one does not falter and commit the sin again.
A similar analogy can used for the shana b'aretz, when many of us spend a year in Israel following high school, studying Torah and inspiring ourselves with friends and teachers who are also practicing Jews. Though many think of that year (or two years, in some cases) as a test in its own right and an opportunity for deep growth, most of us who have gone through the experience can attest that the true challenge, and hopefully, the deepest growing experience doesn't come from the year we spend in a vacuum, but comes in the years afterwards, in university and beyond, where we are forced to put our beliefs into actions, where we are challenged to stay true to ourselves every day.
How fitting to read and internalize this message in the days leading up to the Yamim Noraim. Many of us choose this time to focus on improving our midot, learning more Torah, and upgrading the quality of our davening. But the test of true teshuva isn't in our performance in Ellul and Tishrei, but in the other ten months of the year, when we aren't getting constant nudges from G-d with the Torah readings, shofar and skimming through Hilchot Teshuva. Hopefully, we can use this time to inculcate ourselves, and then our true test is the months that follow.
Best wishes for a fulfilling and successful Tishrei and upcoming year. Shana tova!
All translations taken by mechon-mamre.org
